Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
