She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize