Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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