just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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