I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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