I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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