Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
