Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
