Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
