u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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