Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
