My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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