I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
