There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
