I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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