I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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