I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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