You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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