It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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