So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
