Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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