Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
