we're blogging at a bar
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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