why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
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then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just googled if crying burns calories
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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