Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
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I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
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Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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