ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
