i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
NoShamevember. You game?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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