Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
