Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
