I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
