I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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