there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize