So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize