yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
