By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
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hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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