I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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