I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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