Heybabeimwearingurpanties
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He's a Shit stain on my heart
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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