Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
