I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
