forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
