my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
