i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
