whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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