Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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