Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
