I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
