drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize