We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
