And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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