So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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