is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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