Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
