She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You need a sexual gate keeper
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
