My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
