ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he thought i was a dude.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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