When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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