I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
