FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
