Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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