had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize