So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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