So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize