I could have mohawked her pubes.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
