with your own penis?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
