If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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