another moral hangover. fuck.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
