i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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