he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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